No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did i walk over a car last night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
