Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think your dad took our porno
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
