Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
