there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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