It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
