There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
