Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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