I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize