Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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