I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
