was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
