I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
