i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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