So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
