Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
