Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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