New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
