He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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