scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
