we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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