You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
