Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
