ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
