need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
