Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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