remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
