you're like a bully in the Christmas story
two words: eviction party
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need a burrito and a hug.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
