Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
