we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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