just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
