loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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