I will die if light touches me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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