She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
