This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
