birth control should be required to get into college
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
