You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
