babies were throwing up all over the place
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
