i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
