We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
