windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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