Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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