it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
