So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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