no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize