maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
