I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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