She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
