I think scott just propositioned me for sex
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
