That's intense
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
