He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
