I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
