We're like a lot better than the average bears
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
