I think I can smell my own vagina right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
