i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize