Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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