Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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