Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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