just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
