He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
is that a dick in a sweater?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
