One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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